preventing domestic violence with youth outreach and education

Teen dating violence runs across race, gender, and socioeconomic lines. Both males and females are victims, but boys and girls are abusive in different ways:

• Girls are more likely to yell, threaten to hurt themselves, pinch, slap, scratch, or kick.
• Boys injure girls more severely and frequently.
• Some teen victims experience violence occasionally.
• Others are abused more often, sometimes daily.

These facts go unnoticed at times and they may even be put off as "puppy love". That's the wrong message we send to our youth today. The clear and loud message is be aware of red flags, get help, and know it was not your fault.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For information, education, events, or to get help, contact Sojourner House at 401-861-6191, 401-658-4334 (24-hour helpline), or This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it See teen dating violence workshop listed in the calendar.

Healthy Relationship Indicators

• You feel safe and comfortable with each other. You play, laugh, and have fun.
• Communication is open and spontaneous - you listen to each other and feel that you are heard. You decide things together.
• You express your feelings without fearing your partner's reactions. You talk about conflict directly, and resolve it with win-win outcomes.
• Rules and boundaries are clear and defined, yet allow for flexibility if you desire change. Both of you feel free to express your needs.
• Feelings and needs are expressed, appreciated, and represented by both.
• You can be together as a couple without losing your sense of yourself.
• Your lives outside the relationship make your relationship stronger. Other meaningful relationships and interests exist for both partners.
• You each take responsibility for your own behaviors and happiness.
• Your partner does not try to change or control you when you disagree.
• You can say "no" without feeling guilty about it.
• You really trust each other. You feel trust and you have reason to trust. You each work hard to be trustworthy for the other.
• There is a balance of giving and receiving in your relationship. Equality is both affirmed and celebrated.
• Each person can enjoy being alone, and requests for privacy are respected.
• Both people recognize that any violence is unacceptable.