help for talking about the tough issues

by Jane Hudson

All of us, young and old, are living in a very "wired" and interconnected world, thanks to the Internet. Parents today did not grow up with everyday use of the Internet. Most parents grew up writing and receiving letters and telephone calls. And there weren't hundreds of channels on 24/7 all selling products and promoting sex, drug use, and violence. It goes without saying that the Internet has changed the way we all live and work - and has changed the way parents raise their children. What's vital is for parents to know how best to protect their children and turn the Internet into a resource for education and healthy communication.

The topic of Internet Safety is just one in a series of six critical health safety issues addressed by Can We Talk? Rhode Island, a parent education program funded by the Rhode Island Department of Health, Office of HIV/AIDS & Viral Hepatitis, and being coordinated statewide by Capital City Community Centers, a non-profit agency in Providence. Dominic Cappello, consultant to Can We Talk? Rhode Island, is the creator and co-author (with Susan Duron, PhD) of the National Education Association's Can We Talk? program.

Jane Hudson is prevention program manager at Providence's Capital City Community Centers. For the last eleven years Jane has worked in the prevention field, focusing on both mental health promotion and substance abuse prevention. She is currently a member of the Rhode Island Injury Community Planning Group and chair of its Suicide Prevention Subcommittee.

photo courtesy of Hudson
illustration © 2008 Dominic Cappello, reprinted with permission

Can We Talk? Rhode Island is a program designed to help parents keep their children ages 8 to 14 healthy and safe by learning when and how to talk with their kids about risks and prevention, which is one of the most important responsibilities a parent has. Can We Talk? Rhode Island parent-child communication workshops help parents talk with their children about all the "tough issues."

It is designed as a month long intervention for parents and their pre-teens. There are two face-to-face workshops for parents, in addition to six web-based courses, in which they are introduced to six key topic areas:

• Bullying, Conflict, and Violence
• Puberty, Sexuality & Health
• Internet Safety and Media Messages
• Alcohol, Tobacco, and Drugs
• Self-Esteem and Emotional Health
• Pressures, Stress, and Success

The goal of the Can We Talk? Rhode Island program is to give parents and guardians the resources and support they need to talk with their children about keeping healthy and safe. Children and teens face serious challenges - related to drug use, alcohol, sexual relationships, Internet safety, bullying, violence, and emotional health. And these challenges impact the success students will have in school and later in life.

Can We Talk? Rhode Island is designed to give young people the skills to communicate their concerns and to problem solve. The course is also designed to help parents and children understand the legal aspects of health and safety and how the law protects people - illustrating both rights and responsibilities.

All the workshops are currently available online as e-courses for parents to view and participate in with their children ages 8 to 14 on-line at www.canwetalkri.org.

Each online course is a virtual parent-child communication workshop, including a brief animated video designed as a whimsical conversation starter that provides an opening for parents to discuss the topic issue with their child. For instance, in the Internet Safety and Media Messages video, the kids tell their mom that they are not brainwashed by what they see on TV. Then they see a commercial selling jeans and immediately want to own those jeans. This leads to the following suggested questions for the discussion between the participating parent and child:

•   Does advertising really make people want to buy things?
•   What kind of advertising do you find on the Internet?
•   If someone were bothering you in a chat room, what would you do?
•   How can you tell the difference between e-mails that are from friends and those that are from people trying to trick you or sell you things you don't want?
•   How many minutes a day do you think it's healthy for people to be staring at a computer or TV screen?

The questions are designed to get people thinking about the issues, potential problems and possible solutions that are right for their family. Parents can groom their responses based on their own values and family rules.

Another workshop activity includes questions and answers designed to give parents key information related to health and safety. Again, the goal of this activity is to generate conversation. The questions are as important as answers, and answers may change based on a parent's values.

Jane Hudson, Can We Talk? Rhode Island coordinator, is working to set up trainings throughout the state to create a cadre of facilitators who introduce parents to the workshop series and on-line courses. Ideally, parents can choose from workshops in the workplace, in the community, and/or in schools. Can We Talk? Rhode Island creates a learning system that works for parents, giving them updated, medically and legally accurate information about health and safety issues specific to Rhode Island and our diverse communities.

A one and one half day training for facilitators will be conducted twice this coming fall through Project Reach RI. This training is offered free of charge, however, potential facilitators are expected to both identify a sponsor for and facilitate the two-part workshop series within three months after completing the course. The dates for these training opportunities are September 15th and 16th, as well as October 20th and 21st. Contact Jane Hudson at 455-3880 x230 or This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it for further information regarding the Can We Talk? Rhode Island program and/or future parent workshops.